Saturday, May 4, 2013

~book~ Blueprints for Building Better Girls

Blueprints for Building Better Girls: FictionBlueprints for Building Better Girls: Fiction by Elissa Schappell
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

If I had to describe this book in five words it would be: beautiful, heart wrenching, real, haunting. It has been a long time since I couldn't put a book down without great difficulty. Schappell has written a series of short stories that is so intimately relatable that it's impossible to feel for these girls.
There are some reviewers who were bemoaning and wanting to know where the "strong" women were in this anthology and the point of this was that these were not strong women. They were real broken women who had real broken things happen to them. These are the thoughts that anyone whose ever been outcasted by peers or their own experiences are afraid to voice. These are not women who make great decisions, but make the best decisions they can to cope with what they're given.
This is something short of a novel and something more than a short story collection. Characters are reintroduced and experiences are shared from different perspectives. The first story and the last are told by the same woman, at the beginning and end of an evolution. It ties the interconnected stories up in a neat little bow.
I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't see myself in several of these characters, but the way she writes about how mothers' feel in the face of their children's destruction was perhaps the most affecting. My children are still young enough that it's not something I deal with yet, but someday they will break my heart and that is the potential this collection made me feel.
If there was only one story you read in this anthology it would be "The Joy of Cooking". It encompasses how difficult mother/daughter relationships are from both ends. No matter how perfect they may look from the outside. "On her first birthday I made my baby girl a carrot cake and she fed herself with her fist. She squealed with delight. I thought: So, this is love." What more perfect thought is there from a mother looking back on a daughter whose struggled with anorexia her entire life?

View all my reviews

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Best BFF Movies of All Time

[So, Nylon magazine had this poll up about the best BFF movies of all time. Most of the answers were obviously "girlie", but it did at least give me an idea for this blog. Finally. Since I have had serious idea block on that lately.]

The buddy movie is old as time. Whether it's Thelma and Louise flying off a cliff together or Abbott and Costello coming up against your favorite Universal Monster, some of the most iconic film moments haven't been in romances, but in buddy movies. Now, I present to you, my favorite friendships of film history. They may not all be iconic, but they are all in some way or form close to my heart.

1. Romy and Michelle
So, let's be honest, who didn't feel like Romy and Michelle in high school? If you didn't, then you had a far better high school experience than I did. I was awkward and pretty picked on. But I had my best friend Alexa and she was the best person in the world. More than my first boyfriend (who I was with for a year), she did so much for my self esteem to show me that I was worth it. We drifted apart over the years, but I will always adore that girl and have a place in my heart for her. We actually went and saw this in theaters at the end of senior year. It quickly became one of our favorite movies, because it was us, with the ultimate retribution of being more fabulous than anyone by the end of the movie. Which you're only truly fabulous once you embrace who you really are and stop living up to anyone's standards. And that, kids, is perhaps the best moral of all time.

2. Wayne and Garth
Ironically enough, this was the movie that defined much of Alexa and mine's friendship before Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion came out. I don't even know how many times we watched it, but a ridiculous amount. I don't know about her, but I can't watch it without at least a moment of thinking of her and hoping her life has gone as fantastic as she deserves. (Sorry, I'm mushy right now. It's the best friend talk.) On point though, who doesn't love Wayne and Garth? They're clueless boys with hearts of gold. It certainly doesn't help they're portrayed by two of the best comedic actors of the 90s (in this blogger's humble opinion), but underneath all the silly and the funny, there's just so much heart.

3. Harry and Ron
Oh, Harry and Ron are what we all want to find in friends. Someone who will disagree with you, tell you you're completely wrong about something and stand by your side at the end of the day anyway. That's really the charm of their friendship.

4. Mal and Zoe
We live in a society that thinks everything is When Harry Met Sally. You can't be friends with someone of the opposite sex (if you're straight) and not have sexual tension. Mal and Zoe are the anathema to that. Friends until the end (and perhaps beyond), there is not a shred of sexual tension between the two. Just camaraderie and understanding. Which is what we need to keep us afloat. I'm also positive there's conversations on understanding how the male and female brain work that Joss never showed us. Which Mal should probably start taking more notes from.

5. The Muppets
Why? Because everyone loves the Muppets. If you don't, you're not human. Also, I spent a large majority of my formative years listening to punk and hanging out with that crowd. Which is basically hanging out with the living rendition of Muppets: loud, colorful and always having a good time.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

~book~ Hemingway's Girl

Hemingway's GirlHemingway's Girl by Erika Robuck
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I feel like I should start by saying that I am not a huge fan of Hemingway. It's really as simple as I don't completely dig his writing style and that little fact that I'm a woman. I am also impossibly drawn to reading about great authors that I don't love in historical fiction. I'm not really sure why that is, but I always have been.

This book is set from the late winter to summer of 1935 in Key West. Told from the perspective of Mariella, a struggling young girl supporting her grieving mother and two young sisters. They're father has recently passed away and it's left to Mariella to keep a roof over their head and money for a doctor for the youngest girl. She meets Hemingway and a veteran around the same time and much of story revolves around her conflicting attraction and feelings for the two men.

The crux of a book like this is the relationships and character. Without a grasp of these two things, the story will just fall apart as another romantic piece of trite bs. Robuck has an amazing grasp of the both. Mariella is that "strong woman" in historical fiction that generally makes me want to throw things at the wall, but in this case she is realistically strong. She's not just strong and highly moral in an immoral world. She is strongly attracted to a married man. She sneaks around with a vet behind her mother's back. She is raw and real and struggles with her faith.

Hemingway is really a supporting character here used to highlight the balance of physical attraction and morality. The battle of what one should want and what one does want. If it feels obvious how things are going, it frequently doesn't go that way. The best relationship in this novel is not between Mariella and any man, but between her mother and her. It's a difficult relationship that perfectly sums up the mother/teenage daughter dynamic.

Simply put, this book is well worth a read.

View all my reviews

Sunday, March 10, 2013

The Girl in Geekdom

This is a conversation that I kind of started on my facebook page, but really there are so many aspects to the "adventure" of being female in any geek or fandom that I really need to get more of it out of my system. Anyone who knows me well will probably know about half of this rant, but for those that don't I should forewarn that I am a bit of raving feminist.

So, warning being said, here's the deal: Being a geek girl is freaking hard. I actually used to delude myself that it would get easier as I got into my 30's, but it turns out, not so much. So, for the sake of argument, here are some of the frequent points I heard made against female geeks.


1. You don't know who the Chief Engineer was on The Next Generation before Geordi was.


Or whatever random bit of trivia about your fandom that you feel should be "necessary information" for the girl standing there saying she's loves it.

Fact: I have no idea the answer to this question and I'm actually watching the first season of TNG as I type this. It was said in the episode we watched last night, but in all honesty I don't remember what it was.
Fact: I have been to multiple Star Trek conventions since the age of 15 (read: before conventions of all kinds were cool-ish). Which if you have any idea how awkward I was at the age of 15, you'd know how much that did not in the slightest help my social stature. I have watched every reincarnation of Star Trek known to man. Read quite a few of the comics back before I kids and subsequently money for comics. I collected all the action figures and to this day am sad that I have no idea what happened to all my Star Trek MicroMachines that got lost in some move or another. My text message tone is Tribbles. My next tattoo is the symbol for the Klingon Empire. So on and so forth.
Fact: All of that last paragraph is irrelevant, because I am clearly not a fan, because I don't remember the name of that one relatively minor character. Even though if I were male, it wouldn't even be brought up as a question in the first place. If it somehow was, a man wouldn't have to defend himself by explaining any of that last paragraph, because it's a pretty obscure fact. And if for some reason he did defend himself with all that, it would be enough. But not me, because I don't have a dick.

Part of you is sitting there saying that's ridiculous and no one would actually say that, but the fact is, they would and they do. I haven't run into this particular question, but I've run into others when discussing in forums.
In case your curiosity was piqued the answer is actually that there were several: MacDougal, Argyle, Logan and Lynch. Google is my friend.

2. She can't really be a geek, because she's hot.

Not one I particularly have ever run into personally, because I'm pretty enough but forever hopelessly awkward. It's endearing to the right people and that's all that matters to me. However, there are girls that are genuinely drop dead gorgeous who are into things that make them by definition geeky. Ask that guy (and some of the less hot geek girls) over there though, and clearly she's not geeky, because she looks good.

Gotta love horribly outdated stereotypes, don't you? Which is exactly what this is. You can't be beautiful/good looking and smart. You can't be hot and love science fiction or comic books. Clearly, by being hot, all you can care about is the Notebook and Cosmo magazine.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

This also goes for any girl who has a sense of how to put herself together and be fashionable/care about how she looks. Which I have more experience with. Just because I know and care about fashion, does not immediately mean I'm claiming to love nerdy things for the sake of a fad. I just happen to like the self expression of how I put myself together.

3. You like the Notebook and read Cosmo magazine? Clearly, you're not a nerd.

Newsflash: People are multifaceted beings, with many different interests that span across many different areas of pop culture, film, literature, so on and so forth. It's called being open to things and not limiting yourself, because something doesn't fit in the box you've made for yourself.

I could list everything I love that isn't "nerdy", but you'd be reading this already somewhat long, ranty blog for that much longer, so I won't. I'll just say that I actually think the Notebook is a 4 out of 5 star movie. (Not to hate on anyone who reads Cosmo, but that one is outside my likes. I literally feel dumber every time I happen to read anything in it.) Funny thing though, I can like the Notebook and the Avengers at the same time. I can like crappy reality shows and Firefly At The Same Time. I can like mc chris and Lady Gaga AT THE SAME TIME. See what I'm getting at there? It's true of anything and anybody.

4. You don't like Star Wars. Nerd card revoked.

Confession: I really don't like Star Wars. I spent many of my formative years growing up just north of Lucas Ranch, surrounded by rabid fan kids who thought that Star Wars was literally a way of life. I get that people can be that into something and I don't judge, but it really turned me completely off from the whole franchise. I'm not struck with an immediate need to vomit when it comes on screen, but it's not something I'm ever going to choose to watch. Ever. I'd probably rather watch Glitter with Mariah Carey than Star Wars.

So, side one of the coin, clearly I am not at all nerdy, because I don't like what is one of nerdom's biggest fandoms. Despite all the other traditionally nerdy things I love. Obviously.
Side two of the coin, I am not that nerdy, because I like some things Star Wars related and have even gone from eye rolling to lukewarm on most things Star Wars (having a 9 year old that loves it and surrounds you with it all the time will do that to you). Clearly, I'm only becoming lukewarm on it to fit in with all the other nerds, which means that I obviously fake all the other things I like.

I'd really like someone to explain how I win that one when those are the two sides of the coin.

5. You're not smart enough to be a nerd.

This may actually be my favorite, since I have known quite a few D&D boys who were (in all honesty) dumber than rocks in all possible ways. They however play rpg's four days a week, so their nerdiness is not questioned.

I happen to not be at all mathematically or scientifically inclined. I'm pretty bad with technology. I know enough to not break my laptop on a daily basis, but that's about it really. That's just not how my brain works. I'm at heart an artist and writer and don't do well with things that have hard and fast rules all the time.
You guessed it though, this has called my ability to call myself a nerd into question.
"How can you be a nerd and not know how to fix a computer?"
Dude, really? Those same RPGers probably have no idea either.
"That's different though."
Not really, bro, but whatever makes you feel better at night.

In closing:
I'm not saying all males are like this or would think anything like this. To the contrary, I would even say that most of them wouldn't. Sometimes it just feels like the ones that do say these things are more vocal and start representing the culture. It makes me ashamed that from the outside, the open minded males and girls like myself are lumped in with them.
The biggest problem is that it shuts down communication between people who love the same things. At the end of the day, all any fandom wants is to find other fans to discuss the things they love with. When you nitpick all the reasons that someone can't be in your club and discussion, you are limiting that discussion and limiting on more voice that may have brought something new to the table. As much as you think you're hurting me and protecting your "culture", all you're doing is hurting it.
And that's all for this rant. Peace out and good night.

Monday, February 25, 2013

The Dreaded Oscar Blog of 2013

No, I realize everyone does these and you're probably sick of them. I spent 3 plus hours of my life being reminded why I don't watch the Oscars ever, so I'm going to write it anyway. (Just to explain: I was suckered in by Seth MacFarlane hosting and curiosity over what he was going to do with the very staid, very boring institution that is THE AWARDS SHOW. I mean, I love canned, awkward presenting that just makes you feel vaguely uncomfortable instead of entertained. Alright, all that being said, here's some thoughts on this years ceremony from an admitted Oscars hater.

1. Seth MacFarlane is freaking adorable. I said it. I am a woman and I thought it was awesome. Apparently social media doesn't agree with me, but really have you seen some of the things social media does like? I'm okay with that. I'm also not entirely sure what people were expecting, but he went out and was himself. Unpolitically correct jokes, songs about boobs and all.
Let's talk about the major un-pc joke of the night for a second, shall we? Yes, I'm talking about the Chris Brown and Rihanna one. Everyone was up in such an uproar. You just don't say that. That's absolutely inappropriate. (Spoiler alert: Blogger inserts serious point here.) I love that he made this joke. Not because it was funny, it wasn't particularly. (The audience reaction was hysterical though.) I love that he made it, because it's not something you say. No one ever says anything. The "it's her life, she can live it how she wants" thing. Someone needs to say something. It's okay to say that giving a clearly still violent man "another chance" after putting you in the hospital is not okay. This is a case of comedy doing it's job and pointing out how messed up a situation is when no one else is willing to open their mouth. (And serious point done.)

2. Actor plays one of the great presidents in Spielberg movies, wins Best Actor. Shock and amazement all around. His acceptance speech was good, but he didn't deserve this one in my opinion. There was so much depth in some of the other performances that just wasn't there in his Lincoln I don't think. This was what's wrong with the Oscars and why I don't think they have as much merit as the Academy would like to think they do.

3. Speaking of gimmie awards: Adele. My exact quote on her winning what should have gone to "Before My Time" or "Suddenly" was: "Oh, yeah, I forgot Adele was nominated for an award, so she automatically wins." I like Adele. I just don't think she's the end all, be all of music that everyone else seems to think she is. At least she wore a far better dress than she wore to the Grammies.

4. Hugh Jackman is the nicest guy ever. From the shining pride on his face for Anne Hathaway winning to being the only single person who got up to help Jennifer Lawrence up after she tripped on her way to accept her award, he won for classiest act of the entire night.

5. Best moment of the night: Les Miserables. Yeah, that just stands alone. I'm that girl who thought that movie should have taken every single award, even the ones it wasn't nominated for. (Even though I'm totally alright with Argo winning, it just doesn't have my heart in the same way.)

So, three and half/almost four hours of my life and this is all that was worthy of comment really (aside from fashion choices, but I won't bore you with thoughts on those aside from how 'bout that bib and nipple get up on Anne Hathaway?) Reminder to self: This is why you don't watch the Oscars. Thank you and good night.
^Also, the song that should have won over Adele.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

B-Rated Horror Review: Sand Sharks

So, periodically I make my husband watch terrible movies with me. It's not because I can't watch them on my own, but because it is infinitely more fun to watch them with someone. Given some of the movies we've watched, it's a miracle we're still together and he actually married me.
Which brings us to last night's choice:
Sand Sharks (2011)
The first thing I would like to draw your attention to is the poster. Which is Sharks meets Tremors meets Piranha 3-D. Just in case you hadn't noticed that on your own.
Anyway, the movie: Takes place on an island that is suffering from hard economic times and lack of tourists despite being absolutely idyllic to look at. Turns out this is because of a party that douche-y main male character threw some years back that resulted in mass shark attacks and the death of the sheriff's wife and child (all of which is addressed for about thirty seconds of screen time). Yadda, yadda, yadda. Same douche-y main male character comes back to the island with the mob on his tail wanting to throw another Spring Break party to revive the economy. Oh yeah, and his father is the mayor so plan gets approved. There's a problem though. SAND SHARKS. Yes, prehistoric era "dinosharks" that can move through the sand like water. Dun dun DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN.

So some random thoughts on this movie:

Sand Sharks is supposed to be comedic. Which is a bit of a mixed bag in all honesty. Sometimes it makes for something cheesy and great and sometimes it makes for something even worse than if they had been serious. This one really does hit about middle of the road with that. Being a comedy, the need to throw in the cliche characters for two minutes of screen time before the shark eats them is either funny (read: the hillbillies out in a boat hunting the shark) or annoying (read: the snooty girl and her boyfriend on the beach fighting).

It also stars Brooke Hogan, daughter of Hulk Hogan (in case you had no idea), as a marine biologist. Really, she's the biggest actress of note here. Her acting skills... Well, let's just say that instead of going into acting, she probably should had followed her dad into the WWE. That's about where they are. Plus she kind of has linebacker shoulders so she already looks like a WWE Diva.

My husband's favorite part of the movie was the "scientific" description of how the sharks move through sand. "They're scales create a hydrogliding effect in sand." (Approximate quote.) Yeah, that's all you get for explanation. Which is funny, because sand sharks are a real thing. Not gigantic dino ones that eat people, but tiny ones are real and live in Florida. It seems like it wouldn't be that hard to do the research to find out how they move through the sand.

My favorite part is when Brooke and the sheriff are stuck on a rock surrounded by sharks with no way out. Cut to scene with someone else who goes to the sheriff's office and there they are. "I thought you were stuck." "We were, now we're not." Entire conflict resolution right there.

So to tie up this whole thing that is probably way longer than it needed to be for this particular movie:
It was alright. I think even when you're making parody movies, there's no excuse to be just plain lazy as a filmmaker, but it does have a high death count and it is over the top ridiculous. It's worth your time if this kind of movie is your thing, but it's not going to do anything to convert you if it's not.
Also, there's this guy named Earl, who does not have any kind of YouTube video to demonstrate how awesome he is, but, yeah, look for him. He was my favorite character.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Valentine's List (the Romantic Side)

So, in case you hadn't noticed Hearts and Hooves Day...er...*start over*...

So, in case you hadn't noticed Valentine's Day is in two days. Yaaaaaaaaaaay! Right? No, not right? Well, don't worry, stay tuned for the anti Valentine's list coming tomorrow. Promise.
In the meantime, for those of you that maybe need a little inspiration (or are just figuring out what to watch right now), here is a list of my favorite romantic movies of all time:

1. Across the Universe (2007)

So, just an fyi, I love the Beatles. Like obsessively love them. This movie is nothing short of the most amazing piece of cinematic art in musical form to ever be made. Plus, it has Bono as Ken Kesey and Eddie Izzard as Timothy Leary. You really can't go wrong even if it's only ten minutes of the movie.







2. Natural Born Killers (1994)

How much I identify with this movie might scare people so I'm just going to say that it may or may not be true that my husband and I have Mickey and Mallory's ying-yangs tattooed on our arms. And we may or may not be looking for a Mickey and Mallory cake topper for when we renew our vows and do the big ceremony/reception wedding.





3. Return of the Living Dead III (1993)

This is more a nostalgia thing, but I am not even kidding when I say that through my teenage years I thought this was the most romantic movie of all time. *Spoiler if it matters* Boy loves girl so much he turns her into a flesh eating zombie and then they both die a blaze of fire at the end. What is a greater sign of love than that? Seriously? Come to think of it, I still think it's pretty damn romantic.





4. Sabrina (1954)

I am an Audrey girl from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I love everything about her. I am also a Humphrey Bogart girl. (Come to think of it, this might be where my love gruff men lacking tact might have come from.) So, this movie is perfect. It's a realistic fairy tale of the highest degree.



5. Lady and the Tramp (1955)

This is one of those movies that if it doesn't touch your heart at least a little bit, you might not have one. It's West Side Story with dogs and less singing and dancing. Not to say that there aren't some of the best songs in a Disney movie ever in here.






That's just the top five. Believe it or not, I'm a huge romantic even if I don't go in for the modern "rom-com" set up very often. At least, I'm not going to put on the internet that I do.

Oh, and here's a song for that whole Pony thing if you got excited by that:

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Oz-n't It Wonderful?

So, tomorrow marks the one month countdown until Oz, The Great and Powerful hits theaters.

I have not been this excited for a movie since........*thinks for a couple minutes*.................possibly ever. Being completely honest, I am (and always have been) an Oz freak. The best Christmas gift my husband ever got me was the numbered box set for the 70th anniversary of the Wizard of Oz. The plastic with the numbered limited edition had to be taken off after it got too damaged in a fire, but still, it's amazing.

Here's the breakdown of my favorite Oz things:


The Wizard of Oz (the movie):


There are few phrases more obnoxious than "timeless classic", because it's overused to death. It really does apply in this case though. When I was tiny sized, I distinctly remember the excitement of the once a year showing of Oz. It was an event before everyone had video and dvd of it and could watch it whenever they wanted. There is something that brings back the magic and wide eyed wonder of being a child for me every time I watch it to this day (more than once a year now, granted).




The Complete Oz Book series:


I distinctly remember that I was in the 6th grade when I read all 14 books in the course of maybe a month. It was one of those cases where a series of books managed to make an escape from my life and everything that was wrong in it: recently moved, few friends, divorcing parents, general preteen angst. I think I may actually reread them all before the release of the new movie, just because I haven't in so long.




Return to Oz:


I have vague memories of watching this as a kid, but honestly they're not very vivid. When I was in my early 20's though, some friends and I rented it and watched it. It's dark and it's kind of screwed up. Any movie that starts with Dorothy getting electro shock therapy can't be all bad, even if it seems odd that it was aimed at kids. As an adult, you see everything that as a kid you probably would have missed. Also, the Wheelers were pretty much completely terrifying. That's the one thing I remember from being tiny. (Even if you're not a huge fan of the Land of Oz, it's worth watching just for the tiny Fairuza Balk.)


Wicked (the book):


I am the kind of person that is drawn to the villain in all ways and this book was truly amazing for making a sympathetic portrait of a character that in all honesty had always been pretty one sided as "evil". Which since we're talking about what's basically a fairy tale was alright, but it was interesting to see the human side of her. I have yet to read the sequel or see the musical (the latter of which is a huge hole in my life), so I can't say much on them unfortunately.




I've seen that there's some mixed expectations for this newest Oz movie, mostly revolving around not liking James Franco as an actor. I, on the other hand, have nothing but high expectations. At the very least it looks pretty and it looks like it was crafted with love for the Land of Oz. If Disney took the same care with this beloved franchise that they did with the Muppets, I don't think we have anything to worry about. So, here's to a month of bated breath and hoping.

I leave you with a picture of my very favorite collectible Oz thing I own, because who doesn't love Pez dispensers?


Friday, February 1, 2013

Argh, a Pirate Blog

(Disclaimer: That is really the best I could come up with to name this. Don't judge me.)

To say I have an obsessive love all things pirate is more than a bit of an understatement.
There are two reasons for this.
First: Let's face it, pirate lore and mythology taps into so many great human aspirations and emotions. Most of us are bogged down by day to day life, making ends meet and getting by. Pirates signify our hopes for freedom to seek our dreams (treasure) and go where the wind may take us.
Second: They're sexy as long as you don't have to smell them.
All that being said, here are some of my favorite pirate-y things.

Pirates of the Caribbean.

Alright, so I understand that I went with perhaps the most obvious first, but bear with me. Here's the thing with Pirates of the Caribbean, first and foremost it's a fantastically entertaining movie. It's silly, yes, but it's also a great adventure film. The sequels definitely start to suffer from lack of quality storytelling, but it's always entertaining.

Pirate Pin Up Art
To put it simply, I love pin up everything (almost). Especially when applied to traditional pin up art, pirates make for some of my very favorite images of all time.

Monkey Island game franchise.
Oh, Monkey Island. If you have never played this adventure game, I genuinely feel like you are missing out. It's funny. It's hard enough to keep you interested, It's not so hard that you want to throw your computer through a window. Seriously, it's a good time and a good way to spend a couple hours, possibly days if you play the whole series through in one sitting.

Cutthroat Island
Take a pirate movie and give it to the director of Die Hard 2 and cast Gina Davis as the bad ass female pirate captain (in a world that actually questions that), add a good dose of extra cheese and overacting, and you get the wonder that is Cutthroat Island. I can understand how you would read this and think it would be awful. Maybe you did think it was awful and that I'm crazy for having it on this list. I really love it though. It's by far not a great piece of art, but seriously, find me something pirate related that is. Gina is hot and there's a charismatic monkey. I'm satisfied.

The Best Damn Drinking Music Ever
Seriously, if you don't like listening to pirate shantys while drinking, there is something inherently wrong with you. From Captain Bogg and Salty (pre-Jake and the Neverland Pirate days) to the Rogue's Gallery album "curated" by Gore Verbinski, it's just a rollicking good time for all. Except maybe your neighbors, but it's not like you really like them anyway.
Note: Later this year the sequel to Rogue's Gallery is coming out "curated" by Johnny Depp. It looks to be a step up from the first one even with the presence of Tom Waits, Iggy Pop and others. So, yeah, look for that.

Muppet Treasure Island
Muppets!
Tim Curry as Long John Silver!
I really feel no more explanation is needed as to why this is the single most awesome pirate thing of all time. ALL TIME.

Captain Hook (Once Upon a Time)
Once Upon a Time (heh, get it?) I thought there couldn't be a hotter pirate than Jack Sparrow. I am one of those. And then Hook showed up in the second season of Once Upon a Time. And that changed. Eye candy for days and days and days. Sigh.

And so concludes this list. Think I missed anything or I was way off the mark having something on here? Tell me so in the comments. ;)

Thursday, January 17, 2013

The Awesome Redheads Blog

As I type, I'm in the process of regingerification (which is now officially a word in the Land of Me), something I periodically do, because technically I'm a strawberry blonde and I enjoy the darker shades of gingerdom. So, I thought, what better time to give all you fine people a list of my very favorite redheads from film and book.

1. Lucy

There's a reason everyone still loves Lucy (no pun intended), she's cute, she's funny, and let's be honest a little dirty given the era of her show. What's not to love about that?

2. Poison Ivy

By far the best female in the entire Batman universe (excluding the awful big screen film version portrayed by Uma Thurman). In true ginger fashion, she is never afraid to use her sexuality to get what she wants. Also, she's an evil hippie, so what's not to love about that?

3. Daniel "Oz" Osbourne

Another favorite from a universe that I unhealthily adore. Always cool to Xander's always trying too hard, more straight faced in the face of everything than Angel, he was the snarky, sarcastic sliver of what deep down every girl/guy really wants. Also what every man secretly wants to be. Plus, werewolf always equals winning.

4. Joan Holloway

So, here's the thing with the working girls of Mad Men: Peggy Olson represents the girl who is blessed and can do whatever she puts her mind to. Sure, she runs into sexist attitudes, but she climbs relatively quickly in the business. Joan, on the other hand, is forever the glorified "coffee girl". I think there's something we all identify with in this. The world has made her bitter and her general attitude reflects this, but at heart she's just frustrated with where she's continually peg holed despite her obvious intelligence (higher than Peggy's) and ability to do whatever she's given.

5. Anne Shirley

My obsession with all things literary really started with Anne Shirley (aka Anne of Green Gables). She was spunky, she was smart and she had things to say. So many things, as a matter of fact that she almost literally never shut up, much to the initial annoyance of her adoptive family.

6. Grace Adler
Will and Grace is one of the most brilliant shows in the history of sitcoms. Grace is every woman. We all want to be Karen. Anyone who says differently is probably lying. But at heart chances are you're Grace. You're awkward, you're sometimes desperate, you just want your happily ever after g'dammit. For all of that we all hope that we're also as loyal and lovable as Grace.

7. Ron Weasley
Oh, Ron, poor Ron. In the universe of Harry Potter is there a character that is more unappreciated? I know someone is going to say Neville, but he has fan clubs for days and ends up being kind of a bad ass. Ron spends a lot of time just kind of being there, being supportive of Harry and waiting for the girl he loves to notice him while fumbling horribly with it. Confession: I spend more of my life feeling like Ron than I do anyone else, always kind of waiting to be the star. And that's why I love him so much.

There are so many more wonderful gingers out there, but these are my favorites. Will possibly always be my favorites. They represent to me all the struggles and virtues that I personally deal with and feel. If I missed any of your favorites, let me know in the comments who they are and why you love them.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Zombies, Zombies, Zombies

So, I would like to weigh in on this whole zombie obsession that's been going on in pop culture for the last several years. Let me start off by saying that I love zombies. I do. My favorite romance movie from the ages of 11 to whatever year that was I saw Across the Universe was Return of the Living Dead 3. True story. I could list all the reasons that I love zombies, but I don't really need to. All I need to say is that they eat faces and there's nothing more endearing than a creature that eats faces.


That being said, I'm more than a little over them. I still love them, I'm just a little tired of seeing them every time I turn on my computer/tv/open a book/walk outside my house. Seriously, just last year there were 12 major zombie movie releases. I don't take credit for this statistic being right, but that's the statistic that zombiezonenews.com has and by their name I'm just going to assume they know what their talking about. You can probably quintuplet that for books and I won't even get into comics.
Well, maybe I'll get into comics a little bit. Once upon a time, Marvel did a short run of something called Marvel Zombies. Like 5 issues run. Fan boys and girls rejoiced and that was the end of it. Now, I think I see more Marvel Zombie books than I do regular ones. I'm not blaming them for wanting to make a buck, but it's symptomatic.
The CDC, in an effort to get kids who don't care about anything that could actually help them, to pay attention to a public service announcement made an infectious disease meme that substituted zombie infection for infectious disease.
I'm pretty sure it's against some law to make a video game with no zombies in it.
Hell, even Once Upon a Time (set in fairy tale land for those who don't know) incorporated zombies. Of course. Because EVERYTHING EVER NEEDS MORE ZOMBIES.

Here's the thing, no, everything really doesn't. Nothing would make me happier than if somehow the world started treating zombies like an expensive, tasty spice. You don't use too much, but you throw a dash in to something from time to time to make it more interesting.
Which really is the problem, zombies were once upon a time interesting. There are still interesting ones out there. Some amazing books and movies are still made. Unfortunately it's hard to find them in the sea of crap that floods out of your eBook and tv screen, but they're there. I still dig for them, because I do still love me some zombie fun.
It's time for entertainment to move on to something else. Something new and interesting to the non horror obsessed masses. Like werewolves. Well, not werewolves, because I love werewolves more than any other horror fantasy creature, and g'damn look how I feel about this zombie thing. You really want to read that rant?

(P.S. If you are genuinely excited for a potential zombie apocalypse to happen, keep in mind, that you will probably die. I know I will. There are too many people I love for me to not die if one of them gets infected. Mostly the mini people.)

Friday, January 4, 2013

What Nevermind Means Now




[Originally written and posted 7/28/11]
So, Nevermind is 20 years old in September. If this makes you feel old, then we're in the same boat. SPIN magazine did a retrospective article with various artists and musicians stating what Nevermind meant to them. I am not nearly interesting or famous enough for a corporate music magazine to care what I have to say, but here it is for anyone else to see.

Nevermind came out when I was in the 5th grade. My parents weren't divorced yet, but all the signs were pointing that way, no matter how they tried to cover it up. My mom's alcoholism was just in it's budding stages, but being only 11 years old, I was starting to feel confused and betrayed by her choices. My dad just wasn't around, "working" all the time. I was a definitive outcast at school. I'd fallen to the elementary version of Mean Girls and quite literally had exactly one friend and a whole gang of girls who hated me for no other reason than one girl turned on me one day. All stories for other blogs, I'm sure.

I was pretty much the picture of disaffected youth that was a mainstream in the early 90s. A very young, preteen version of it, but definitely in it. I still remember the first time I heard "Smells Like Teen Spirit" I was at a 5th grade dance. I was sitting in a corner completely ignored, because Ashley was sick that day. Immediately I felt a sense of comfort. There was always something about Kurt's voice that just implied he understood how you felt.

I know that it's a very narcissistic point of view that a lot of teenagers and preteens felt, but that's the one joy of being a teenager: It's joyfully, unabashedly all about you and you feel no need to apologize about it. As the years went on, Nirvana released better music and rereleased a first album with more raw emotion than anything else they ever did. There's always a special spot though for that first listening, that first time you felt like someone else maybe got it. Throughout all the gawkiness and bad decisions that shaped my teenage years, that was always there. I wouldn't say that it saved my life, because that honor is reserved for other forms of music, but it got me through. It gave me enough comfort to get to the point where I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

That's one of the reason I think Nirvana is still relevant today, while being played on classic rock stations. (Sorry, for that making you feel old again thing...) Some part of us will always feel like we don't quite fit, but someone like Kurt crosses generations and speaks to new ones. There are moments where I feel lost inside myself and the only soundtrack that really fits is early 90s rock, with all it's wallowing and sense of disaffection.

I leave this with the best quote I found in the magazine about the album (that has little to do with anything I've written): "...Nevermind felt like the first entire album of my generation that didn't feel like it was on loan from the generation just before us."